Roger and the Chocolate Factory
by Elphie Marky
Summary: [RentCATCF crossover] Roger and Mimi head over to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and Roger gets carried away. Won first place at speedrent.


Roger and Mimi approached the large, white, castle-esque building eagerly awaiting entrance. They stood in front of the gates hand in hand, peering through the bars anxiously looking for the mysterious Willy Wonka.

"Ready to gain ten pouds, Meems?" Roger asked.

"Have fun, Rog," she replied. "Chocolate makes me break out."

"What are you, a teenager?" Roger asked. Mimi gave him a look that said 'You know how old I am' and a smile. "Well, not far from it, I guess."

A booming loudspeaker interrupted their banter. "Will the contest winners please enter the gates?" The gates swung open and Roger and Mimi scurried inside, approaching the steps carefully. The large door of the castle-like building opened to reveal a tall man wearing a purple and pink suit, glasses, and a strange looking bob cut.

"Welcome," he said.

Before he could say his name, a chorus of puppets broke into song. "Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! The amazing chocoletier!"

Mimi wrinkled her brow and gave Roger a look. To her surprise, Roger wore a mile wide smile, and he was bouncing back and forth to the music. He was like a kid in a candy store. Go figure.

"This way," Willy Wonka turned around with a swoosh of his cape. Roger anxiously followed him, Mimi clinging to his arm. They observed the room they had stepped inside of. It was a forest of candy. "Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that, my friends, is called cannibalism."

Roger didn't hear what came after 'Even I'm eatable' as he promptly walked up to the strange man and licked his cheek. Cringing, he said, "I don't recommend eating him."

"That's why I said it…"

Roger cut him off, "Can I eat this?" He held up a chocolate bird.

"Yes," Willy Wonka replied. "Now, Mimi, what would you like to eat?"

She almost asked him how he knew her name, but then she remembered that he must know since she and Roger had won the contest. "Well, I'm not really a candy person."

The chocolatier twitched a bit, staring off into space. After a few minutes, he came back to reality.

"Mr. Wonka? What's wrong?" Mimi waved her hand in front of his face.

"Sorry, I was having a flashback," he shook his head to see straight.

"Alrighty then," Mimi rolled her eyes and looked around for Roger. He was under a gummy bear tree gorging himself on milk chocolate bunny rabbits. "Well this looks good." She picked a gummy fruit off a tree. "Mmm."

"Jolly Pops," Willy Wonka smiled as he watched Mimi eat, "are one of my favorite inventions."

"Hey, Mr. Wonka," Roger came over towards the two, "what's this?" He held up a blue cylindrical object resembling a sausage.

Willy's eyes widened. "That's a Tiny Tube. I-I haven't completely finished them," he stuttered, trying to take the Tiny Tube away from Roger. "I haven't perfected it."

"Well, what will it do?" Roger sniffed it, wrinkling his nose.

"It makes you… shrink."

"Well, I'm a pretty tall guy," he replied smugly.

"Don't do it!" a short orange man popped out of a bush. Similar ones surrounded it.

"What the fuck is that?" Roger laughed.

"It's an Oompa Loompa," Willy Wonka replied. "They're from Loompa Land."

Roger laughed. "Where the fuck is that?"

"Language, Roger," Mimi hit his arm.

Before he could say anything, the Oompa Loompas started singing. "Oompa Loompa doopity dee. If you are wise you will listen to me."

"What the hell?" Roger laughed harder. "Can we punt them?"

"Punt… the Oompa Loompas?" Willy's eyes widened. "Like… like a football?"

"Hold this," he handed the Tiny Tube to Mimi and approached an Oompa Loompa.

"Roger, don't…"

"Relax," he assured, " b I saw this done once on an episode of Bonanza. /b "

Mimi rolled her eyes as Willy Wonka's got even wider. Roger picked up one of the little men and adjusted him in his hands. The Oompa Loompa squealed and wriggled, but Roger was able to promptly toss it up a bit and kick it. He laughed as the Oompa Loompa sailed through the air and landed in a pool of chocolate.

"Oh… my… Oompa!" Willy stuttered in a quiet voice, twitching at the thought of what just happened.

"Relax, man," Roger replied, taking the Tiny Tube from Mimi. Taking a bite, he said, "You've got a ton more."

"Did you just… you're going to shrink!" Willy pulled at his hair.

Swallowing, Roger looked around. "It appears that I still stand at six feet."

"I didn't mean your height would shrink," Willy cried out. "I meant your…" he glanced downward.

Roger's expression changed from laughter to concern in less than a second. "You mean…" he stretched his jeans and boxers a bit, looking downward. "Oh fuck."

It was Mimi's turn to laugh now (although she wouldn't find the result funny later). "It's a good thing you aren't part of The Well Hungarians anymore."

Fin


End file.
